Ghana-Sick

It amazes me that I left the country for almost 5 months and living here again, it feels like I never left. There are moments when I'm walking around the city or hanging out with people and something happens that reminds me of something that happened to me in December and I completely forget that I was away for several months. Like December feels like last week. There are some things that changed but most things around me did not change at all. And it's both comforting and discomforting to see almost everything around me as the same. Like while I was away having this experience, things were moving along and the things that did change have thrown me off but the things that didn't change have thrown me off as well because I was expecting a difference and there's not. I'm not sure if I like that or not. I guess it's good because I would be way more culture shocked had everything been different but it upsets me to come back and fall back into a routine where it's easy to forget I was in Africa for 5 months. I don't want that.

I think what's bothering me is that I have changed so coming back and falling into routines that I was once apart of for so long just doesn't interest me. Certain activities don't interest me anymore and I'm not sure if they will again. Mostly it comes back to the fact that I am definitely still Ghana-sick. I realized this yesterday and after talking to a Ghana friend, I know that I am feeling homesick for Ghana. That's really strange to me because I very rarely feel homesick. I wasn't that homesick my first semester in college, nor was I homesick for America when I was in Ghana. Not at all. And maybe I'm so homesick for Ghana b/c I have no idea when I'll be back there. But even during spring break when I knew I was going back to Ghana soon, I really really missed being there. And I don't even think I could live there for a long time so I'm not sure why I get so Ghana-sick. But these days, I either want to hang out with friends from Ghana or hang out with people here who will let me talk about Ghana. I'm sure it's annoying for people here but I can't stop myself. I definitely need something to push me forward b/c I keep living in the past and it's only making me depressed. And I'm restless for something new to happen to me or else I'm going to dwell on the old. And keep on dwelling until someone or something stops me. People need to start coming to the city so I can see them or Paris needs to get here now. I just need something to occupy my mind that's being bombarded by memories. I never want to forget these memories but neither should they dictate my life.