Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man

I meant to write about this when I saw Steve Harvey on Oprah a few weeks ago but then I forgot, and then Steve appeared on Oprah again on Monday but I was too sick to focus. Now I'm back! In the words of Nene Leakes and/or Emeril: BAM!

Okay, where was I?

So when Steve Harvey initially appeared on Oprah, he dropped little tidbits...nuggets... of his book and it intrigued women so much that Oprah invited him back. This was easily one of my top five favorite episodes of the show because it was hilarious, enlightening, and most of all, REAL.

There were several issues discussed during this episode, a few that I think are really important to highlight. At one point, a woman skyped in and told this story about a guy she had been on about three dates with and there was an incident with him running into the ocean, losing his keys, blah blah blah. The story wasn't exactly the point. But at the end she said the guy stopped contacting her and she didn't know what happened. It was their third date and everything seemed to be okay and then it wasn't. And Steve Harvey more or less said, maybe he just wasn't into you anymore. SLAP! This girl had a slight physical reaction like the words had punched her right between the eyes. It sounds harsh when it's verbalized but it's so true. How many times have we (yeah I've been there) women come up with excuse upon excuse upon excuse as to why someone we're interested in isn't calling us? And the truth of the matter is: when someone wants to call you, they will. When someone wants to be with you, they will. And when someone is interested in you, you will know. As the novel and recently released film suggest, if he doesn't let you know, he's just not that into you. Now what? Where do you go from here? Most times we sit and wonder what we did wrong or what we could have changed, and sometimes there are definitely things that could have been different. But sometimes, it's just the way it is, regardless of the way you approach someone. It's like a refreshing insult because even if you don't want to, you get it. And I think a lot of the time women tend to dwell on those who are not interested and miss out on other great opportunities. So I say, if someone doesn't call or doesn't seem interested and you've expressed your own interest in that person then brush the dirt off your shoulders and keep on strutting.

Moving on...

Towards the end of the episode, Steve Harvey says, "Chivalry is not dead. It's just not required." This really stood out to me. Why? Because it's true. It brings forward something called standards and what that means to some people. Now I think there are some women who may be too picky (this could be me?) but on the other hand, there are women who don't know what the word picky means. There needs to be some middle ground. Women should not be okay with someone who treats them with disrespect or does not take their feelings into consideration or is just a lazy ass bum. It's become okay to some people to have others treat them the way they do. I compare it to a test. If someone cheats a little and notices that they're not getting caught, they may be more inclined to raise the stakes and cheat again until it almost becomes the norm. If a guy thinks he can call you at 3am and it's okay, you better believe he's going to keep calling you at 3am. Or if he allows you to always pay for dinner and you never protest, you better believe you're footing the bill from now on. It's crazy some of the things we put up with, all for the sake of being in the comfort zone of having someone, even if that person brings you more frustration than joy. I blame it on the societal pressures of being a woman, but that's a whole other blog post for some random post-feminine blog that I am not aware of.

In conclusion, I am really considering going out and buying Steve's book. Or maybe I'll just go to Barnes and Noble and read it there. It seems to really be the wake up call that a lot of women need.

But in completely opposite news, there are great men out there and I know they exist! All around me (like really... all around me), people are getting engaged, including my lovely friend Lauren! I'm SO excited to be a part of her wedding and I'm sure there will be more about that in the next coming months. But this is proof: if someone wants to be with you, they will.

End of the happily ever after story.