Ramblings of a Sleepwalker?

Why am I not sleeping right now? Can we answer this question quickly before we move onto other things? I know this is going to be painful tomorrow morning and I'm going to shoot evil, evil squints at my alarm clock as it's vibrating happily on my desk in a few hours.

But...here we are. Writing in the middle of the damn night (Well, to me it's the middle of the night. I'm an old woman now. Middle of the night = any time after midnight). Anyway, I kind of feel like since I'm writing after hours, my blog should be...you know...after hours-ish... But it's not. Sorry.

This entry might be amusing to me in the morning when I make sense.

Okay, time to stop digressing. Let's talk people. I like people. Sometimes. Certainly not all the time. But I had a conversation with my friend the other day and we were talking about one of the realities of "growing up," which is discovering certain facets about people and becoming disappointed upon that discovery. It happens to everyone. It's like when the honeymoon phase is over. You meet someone, you think this person is wonderful, such a great friend, so cool to hang out with, and then something happens. It could be minor, could be major. But it changes the person in your eyes...maybe even just a little. And you're disappointed. Because it takes your friend off of his or her pedestal and makes him or her :::insert gasp::: human.

Now I am not saying this happens to everyone but from what I can tell, it's a somewhat common occurrence. Now what I think is interesting is the next step. What does that mean for your friendship? Does your altered view change nothing about your friendship or does it totally dissolve the relationship you had with the person? Of course it's a case by case basis but something changes. Whether you recognize it or not, I believe something changes. And it becomes a matter of accepting the person as he or she is (because let's face it, no one is perfect except me...j/k) or deciding that the person no longer brings value to your life. And while this may sound slightly negative, there's nothing wrong with the latter choice.

I fully believe that friendships in life are meant to be symbiotic and if they're not, maybe it's best to go your separate ways. It's like being in a romantic relationship. If you felt your boyfriend or girlfriend never took you into consideration and was always thinking of him or herself while you made the effort to think of both parties, would you stick around for long? Friendships are no different but I find that people tend to let the bad friendships linger longer than the bad relationships.

Okay, I don't want to get all Debbie Downer so the good news is that everyone is human and most people bring something unique and wonderful to each relationship they have (at least I think so). Sometimes it takes time...lots and lots of time...and maybe a large shovel so you can dig deep...to figure that out but it can happen.

So basically what I'm trying to say is that I need to sleep or else tomorrow morning I will not only end my tenuous friendship with my alarm clock, I will make sure it never makes any new friends. The end.