Can't Stop Thinking About Ghana!

Okay, so I really tried to read tonight. I really did. I got home fairly early (9pm as opposed to 10:30-11pm) and I thought I can get so much reading done tonight but what do I do? I talk to my mom on the phone for about 2 hours then I get ready to read but my mind literally feels like it's racing 130 mph and I could probably run 50 miles right now, I'm ridiculously hyper. I must have had something with crazy caffeine in it. But basically, this isn't about how I'm so ADD and I have an intense case of senioritis or how I've just mentally checked out of school (or maybe I never mentally checked in?). This is about the topic that I have literally become obsessed with: going back to Ghana.

Yeah, it's a tired subject for those who either have never been there or never felt the connection but for those who do, they understand the need I feel to go back and to go back soon. It's just so damn expensive to get there! And sometimes I think if I'm going to invest so much in this, why don't I just spend the money and go somewhere else I've never been since I'm so into seeing different parts of the world and I did live in Ghana for almost 5 months. But I don't really want to. I love being in Ghana and while it's certainly not cheap, I would spend the money to go back. Because I know in my heart that come May when I graduate, I'm sure as hell not going to be thinking about going back to Ghana but I'm going to be thinking crap, I need a job, I need an apartment, I need to know what I'm doing with my life, etc. And it sounds cliche but you only live once and I feel like it's either I do it now or I do it way way way down the road when I don't have to concentrate on getting money for the rent or more practical issues. But then I could be so invested in a career or family that I can't go back then either. It's kind of my last fling as a student. And I'm always that girl that's constantly thinking and weighing the pros and cons of things and logically, I know it's probably not wise for me to go. I need to save up money for post-grad life, I've already been and I don't need to go back again so soon, etc. But fuck that, I've worked my ass off and it's time I do something that I want to do because a lot of the time, I do something that other people want me to do. Let me satisfy the intense desire I have to go back. The next time I write in this, I hope to have purchased a ticket for Kotoka Airport, Accra, Ghana.